It is my impression that many, many sexuals (and some asexuals) buy into the idea that to be happy, one must have a sexual or romantic partner. Relationships are highly pursued in this day in age, but in many cases a person could do without a significant other.
As an asexual aromantic, relationships are a big mystery to me. Why we need them or how they even work is a conundrum I can never quite seem to figure out or understand. People who constantly express the need for such a relationship are fascinating, yet annoying at the same time. Because while I strive to understand sexuality and the romantic relationship, I can’t help but feel like they don’t really need a relationship.
Strictly speaking, it is entirely possible for a person to go without a significant other their entire lives and survive. The body doesn’t need sex or romance, it needs food and water. But then again, it is also entirely possible for a person to go their whole life without clothes and survive, yet that is regarded as one of the bare essentials in life, even though the body doesn’t technically need them. (Note: living without clothes can lead to freezing to death. Leave this task up to the Mythbusters.)
So a person doesn’t need a relationship, but it sometimes seems imperitive to one’s mental health. But society has taught us that you need a S.O. all the time. The world revolves around sexuality. Not deep, meaningful relationships, but cheap love, a totally noncomittal act. And by having an S.O, your life will immediately get better. To sexuals, sex and sexual acts or arousal are almost always a positive experience. But there can be a dark side.
Let’s face it, boyfriends and girlfriends aren’t sex toys. They aren’t someone’s slaves. They have their own desires and needs, and when one’s already stressed, having a person you feel responsible for is not going to lighten the load. S.O.s are more demanding than a normal friendship. They want to be taken out on or take one on dates, spend lots of time together, text, and have many other expectations one might find unreasonable in certain situations.
For asexuals, having a relationship with a sexual is even harder. The complete difference of sexual orientation makes their needs clash (ex. sexual: GIVE ME SEX. asexual: DO NOT WANT. DO NOT WANT.) and to maintain a stable, understanding relationship is a miracle in itself.